marriage advice

Most of us think that when trust is broken in a relationship, it is almost impossible to rebuild.  However, if you wronged your partner and broke their trust (say, by cheating on them), it can be rebuilt if you follow a few important steps.  You can learn more about how to get your ex back here.

The first step is to flat out accept blame.  You don’t give lame excuses, you don’t argue or defend or explain that it didn’t really mean anything.  You admit, for example, that you messed up and in this way:  I cheated on you.  This is crucial.  When we’ve been wronged one of the things we want to understand is that our mate knows they did wrong.  Do they understand that or do they somehow think what they did is not that big of a problem.  This first step handles this for your mate, it clarifies that you aren’t going to b.s. them and will take responsibility.

This is a remarkable way to start restoring trust!  Instead of the usual defending and excuses when there is a problem in the relationship, we own up to what we did.  This is a powerful way to begin rebuilding trust, if you are sincere.

The second step builds on this.  You then say something like “I know I hurt you, and here is the hurt I think I caused you.”  You can learn more Get Ex Back After Breaking Up specifics here.

Look, your ex is hurting!  They may be furious with you, or they may feel sad and broken hearted.  They are in emotional pain.  So you fess up to that to, since you caused all the pain they’re feeling.  Hey, not only did I cheat on you, but I caused you pain.  I hurt you deeply, I made you feel worthless, like I didn’t appreciate and respect you.  I know I broke your heart.

Remarkable!  Your partner has probably never heard anything like this from you before.  You aren’t trying to explain yourself, you are owning that you not only did the deed but caused emotional damage to them by doing it.  Wow!

Using the best words you can find, describe the emotional damage you think you  caused.  You want your partner to get a good sense that you understand the emotional damage you caused them.  This is critical to rebuilding trust.

Most apologies don’t work because they miss these two steps.  Accept blame for what you did and let your mate know you understand the emotional pain you caused.  When you do this, your apology is much more effective towards rebuilding trust.  There are more steps to it, but these first two can take you a long way.  Go here for a free course on Love And Intimacy Help.

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