It may happen sooner or it may happen later, but it happens to most couples and even if they have been trying hasten the process, they are rarely ready for the news. ‘We’re having a baby’ comes as a surprise to all of us and is greeted with a mixture of joy and fear.

Throughout the pregnancy, the mother at least has a distinct knowledge of what’s happening, because it’s happening inside her. The soon-to-be dad, no matter how well informed he is, gets all his information second hand. His biggest concern, at least at first, is how he is going to be able to provide for the new baby.

A feeling of dread sometimes spoils the joy of pregnancy, at least on occasion. The mother doesn’t think she’s going to be able to cope with nine whole months of being pregnant and the father doesn’t think he’s going to be up to the demands of fatherhood.

Fortunately, most of us get a grip and get to work. Long before the baby arrives, we go out and look at the latest baby cribs and other baby necessities. If we haven’t gotten serious about our careers, we kick ourselves in the butt and ramp up our efforts.

We start to make sacrifices in anticipation of the arrival. Instead of buying that new bedding collection for our room, we use the money to buy the crib instead. Even before the baby arrives, it becomes more important than we are and we adjust accordingly.

Sure, the husband isn’t thrilled about the fact that he’s going to have to put off buying the husqvarna chainsaw he’s had his eye on. Nonetheless, he does put it off, usually without complaint. He knows he didn’t really need it that much anyway.

Men, who are biologically left out of the loop during pregnancy, often feel a sense of unreality about the whole thing until the baby is born. They may be imagining playing ball with their son or holding their daughter’s hand as they cross the street together, but they rarely consider the fact that babies don’t pop out as six or seven year olds. They know it intellectually, of course, but in the world of their imagination, they will rarely anticipate being awakened regularly in the night or having their bouncing baby puke on their new suit.

When all is said and done, though, most parents do alright, especially considering the fact that they’ve got to get parenthood right the first time. Nature has a lot to do with it. Just as a mother feeds her baby even when its in the womb without really knowing how it’s done, so do fathers just seem to do what’s necessary, even when they don’t have a guidebook to follow.

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