One of the biggest hindrances in a collaborative divorce often comes when one party requests to move away from the residential state. During a relocation there is usually a reasonable reason for the move, such as a new spouse, new career, or to reside near family.

Take the true story of Joe as an example. In the case of Joe, his ex asked to relocate to a different state so that she would be close to family. Joe felt bad, he was overwhelmed, and he believed this would help the entire family heal from the divorce. In retrospect, this was a major error in Joe’s judgement.

Joe was trying to give his children a sense of belonging, and to give his ex-wife the support system I knew she craved. Instead this all worked against Joe, and became a logistical nightmare. His ex moved from their home state of New Jersey to Massachusetts. Her family was there and this was supposed to be good for everyone involved. In the beginning Joe would drive 4 hours to his ex-wifes home and spend his time with the kids there. He felt that this routine was for the good of their children. His ex-wife stayed with friends or family during his visits, and at a certain point she started dating and began staying with her new boyfriend. This is where all heck broke loose.

Although Joe admitted the original agreement was less than traditional, it worked for his family. However, once the new boyfriend came into the picture, there were new challenges to face. This arrangement no longer worked and Joe was left to scramble for other plans. Now Joe had to drive a great distance to visit his kids and then figure out what they would do during his stay instead of relaxing in the family home. In turn, during multi-day visitations, Joe had to worry about where to sleep and address the added expenses. As all parties currently going through a divorce know, money is always an issue.

According to the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) if one parent takes the children into another state and with intent to set up home resides there for a minimum of six months, then residence is established there. The UCCJEA requires that all further actions be heard in the new state of residence.

The moral of the story is it is impossible to predict what issues will come up later in a divorce. For this reason it is critical parents maintain a level playing ground to work out their indifferences.

 Mail this post