It may seem counter-intuitive to say that in order to save your marriage you need to stop talking to your partner, but this could in fact be the very thing that allows some couples to move beyond their problems and return to happiness together.
In most cases, a couple going through a stormy period of marriage will end up sitting with a couple’s therapist in attempt to work out the problems. At first it is often tense and having to sit there and listen to the other person’s gripes and grumbles is very aggravating. Yet in the end, some will be able to find common ground and come out okay. Others will turn their sessions into shouting matches that eventually lead to a divorce.
So, what makes the difference here between couples that can essentially talk out their problems and others that cannot?
The difference is that the couples who are successful with talk therapy eventually realize that it’s not the talking that saves the marriage! It’s the process of really hearing what each person has to say and then taking deliberate actions in daily life to fix the problems that ultimately saves the marriage.
Talk alone will never work. While therapists can be extremely beneficial, it all comes down to how receptive both parties are to the sessions. If you both sit there holding your breath in anger waiting for your turn to list all the flaws of your partner, then you are not really listening to one another and nothing will be solved.
If you are going to try to talk things out, pay attention to what happens after each session. There will always be some sort of action at every moment of every day, and it’s the action after a talk session that will ultimately determine your chances of really working things out. If you both storm to opposite corners or have a huge screaming match, chances are low of coming out successful.
The key is to go away from a talk session really having heard what the other person said, valuing their opinions and feelings, and ready to take action to make things better. Most couples do not need to spend long lengths of time in a therapist’s office or screaming at one another at home. They just need one big honest heart-to-heart and a committed attitude to at least try something every single day afterward to make things better.
If you really want to save your marriage, then realize that action counts more than words. When it comes down to rekindling a flame or letting it snuff out, what you do counts much more than what you say.
I recommend you check this out for further information, this site has other articles that will help you out: Stop Divorce Save Marriage or How To Save Marriage or Save Your Marriage
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